New Phase New Elv

I go around telling people i know that since the day I stepped into NTU
my life has been going downhill
my relationships with people in general have its major screw-ups
my focus was never on my notes
my body was always in a nua-mode slacking away time in hostel
my mind was always about which club to go to on that faithful wednesday night

we always have the cheek to critic the people around us
family
how parents can stop repeating and nagging
friends
how little they give back when you have put in that much unappreciated efforts
loved ones
how fragile human relationships can get
society
how harsh it judges you

like everyone else
i had my fair share of complains, grievances
A finger pointing at others equivilates to 3 pointing at ourselves

I never had been the perfect daughter, friend & lover
But who could?

This is all about growing up
Am i grown up? Nope
But definitely i will
Together with all the darlings around me

Yesterday marked the 1 month of my new life
With a new addition
A new person who made a difference to my life

I idled my past 1 year
scouting so hard for that perfect guy
the one with a stable job, good pay, good family, decent looking, clean background
But in turn
i tried too hard
to change to something i never was

tomorrow is Christmas' Eve
one which i will spend it with someone special
someone i can totally relate to
someone who can totally relate to me
someone whom i need no lies to conceal my identity
someone who i can be totally frank and direct with
someone who says he will make me change my thinking about the fragility of r/s

everytime i feel a wrench in my heart
be it
work
past
family
talking to him always made it seemed much simplier than it already was

To make me able to break out of the fake promise i have been making to myself since secondary days
to appreciate the greens and to have a healthier body
Yes
My plate now looks so much cleaner without the strands of chorophyll filled veggies
The one who did wat none others could

Am i still skeptical as i once said?
I might be
Is he my 25 dream?
It may ... seriously be

Love has always been a greatly mis-used word
or so i strongly believed to be
Did i say i love him?
No i din
Did he say he loves me?
No he din

And i'm glad
for what's the whole point if it's said to mean mis-use?

As for the probability of a future
Only time will tell



Thanks, Eric