我累了
已经搞不清楚自己是什么,要什么
也许在我内心世界里,
有一个无形的恶魔在作怪
若得不到幸福
也不想其他人能轻易得到他们所要的幸福
得的到回报的行为才会值得
开心吗?
我说..不.
好想知道人能够多丑陋.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Movie
Yesterday i tried to catch the same show twice.
but to no avail.
today
another try
last try
a good rest at home today,
a good day of dvd-ing
tomorrow sounds like a packed day
tonite i still dunno
no matter who
im always given last min notices
but its not that im too free
but i bothered
whats the point in constantly trying to force ppl to carry out activities that they are not into?
i have to start learning to watch movie alone
to play game alone
watch dvd alone
for ppl have found their ideal companion for all these
and its not me
never
but to no avail.
today
another try
last try
a good rest at home today,
a good day of dvd-ing
tomorrow sounds like a packed day
tonite i still dunno
no matter who
im always given last min notices
but its not that im too free
but i bothered
whats the point in constantly trying to force ppl to carry out activities that they are not into?
i have to start learning to watch movie alone
to play game alone
watch dvd alone
for ppl have found their ideal companion for all these
and its not me
never
Friday, May 23, 2008
在孤独一人等待的凌晨
Watched Indiana Jones today.
okies show.. maybe im just not a fan of george lucas
to hang out, have dinner, catch a movie.
its not that bad to have a healthy night like this.
But probably.. it wasnt too interesting.
I said, watching a movie,
companion very important.
and the sad thing
i still cant find a proper companion to watch
therefore making most movies i watched, boring.
watching 爱情经纪约 on dvd now..
old show le, but i haven seen it yet..
today an episode made me tear..
i love to watch those touching scenes
but it just made me emotional..
我还找不到我生命中的奇迹
成长在单纯世界的我
选择了复杂化的生活
潜意识
我在等待有知音能把我从那复杂的世界带走
现实生活的我
能得到奇迹的眷顾吗?
Shall not wait.
the movie wun come
okies show.. maybe im just not a fan of george lucas
to hang out, have dinner, catch a movie.
its not that bad to have a healthy night like this.
But probably.. it wasnt too interesting.
I said, watching a movie,
companion very important.
and the sad thing
i still cant find a proper companion to watch
therefore making most movies i watched, boring.
watching 爱情经纪约 on dvd now..
old show le, but i haven seen it yet..
today an episode made me tear..
i love to watch those touching scenes
but it just made me emotional..
我还找不到我生命中的奇迹
成长在单纯世界的我
选择了复杂化的生活
潜意识
我在等待有知音能把我从那复杂的世界带走
现实生活的我
能得到奇迹的眷顾吗?
Shall not wait.
the movie wun come
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
fucked
because i tot he was mind-fucked.
now i'm the one being mind-fucked.
*cheers to non-discretionary feelings*
now i'm the one being mind-fucked.
*cheers to non-discretionary feelings*
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
siakish
bad mood
very bad mood
totally dont feel like working day
2 appts
both cancelled
i join this career coz of flexibility
but as much as i din wan to work today
i had to go office
no talk
the feeling is still there
upset
the tearing is there
learn to move away from the wrong things
after 7pm the mood got so much more better
i can smile now
very bad mood
totally dont feel like working day
2 appts
both cancelled
i join this career coz of flexibility
but as much as i din wan to work today
i had to go office
no talk
the feeling is still there
upset
the tearing is there
learn to move away from the wrong things
after 7pm the mood got so much more better
i can smile now
its an observation day, today
the other side of me is slowly surfacing
im feeling empty
as though i just vomitted out all that i've ate
my lung is empty
i feel that i cant breathe properly
my heart is scheming
im thinking of too much things
probably i do not know how to handle crisis well
as much as i do not like to be lonely
if im trapped in a crisis
i'll pull someone in to die together
im feeling empty
as though i just vomitted out all that i've ate
my lung is empty
i feel that i cant breathe properly
my heart is scheming
im thinking of too much things
probably i do not know how to handle crisis well
as much as i do not like to be lonely
if im trapped in a crisis
i'll pull someone in to die together
its over
the complicated thing happen
its as though i slapped myself thru & thru
period.
its over
after all my fucking sacrifices
one fucking sentence:
"if u force me its over"
and i'm asked to fuck off
fuck
fuck
fuck
know the origin of fuck off?
fuck , den go off
i so wanna cry my heart out now
its as though i slapped myself thru & thru
period.
its over
after all my fucking sacrifices
one fucking sentence:
"if u force me its over"
and i'm asked to fuck off
fuck
fuck
fuck
know the origin of fuck off?
fuck , den go off
i so wanna cry my heart out now
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Do I like my Job?
I think i like my job. my career.
it is so flexible.
what else do i need to say?
i woke up today at 11am
or rather, i wake up almost every other day at 11 am.
*nice*
today is Sunday
also my self-declared off day
waking up and deciding that no, i'm not going to work today
except for maybe a short while later part of the day.
i manage my own time, own money, own life
i think the suckiest thing is to have no choice but still to work even during our down times
yet i can choose not to
but if i have too much self-declared off days,
my pocket suffers
simple fact.
this week is the first official week that i start work
& i am so far pleased with myself
except that i did not achieve enough appointments
with the initial 10
to the final 4
thats the way of life.
filled with postponements & rejections
but i still can take it well
at least i have my forms filled
i have my money coming in
i so wanna catch a movie
but to no avail
i guess the people that i want to catch a movie with,
are either not interested in the movies i proposed,
or not interested in catching it with me.
*watever*
my life is sort of getting better now
i presume
as i place my focus on my work
i am losing reliance on a certain someone
this is good
*a pat on the back*
and i hereby break the common misassumption that being an insurance agent,
u will have lesser & lesser friends, eventually NO friends
this is wrong
for i have definitely widened my social circle
no one is not picking up my calls
no one is ignoring me
no one is not wanting to meet me
& no one have asked me to fuck off
=)
it is so flexible.
what else do i need to say?
i woke up today at 11am
or rather, i wake up almost every other day at 11 am.
*nice*
today is Sunday
also my self-declared off day
waking up and deciding that no, i'm not going to work today
except for maybe a short while later part of the day.
i manage my own time, own money, own life
i think the suckiest thing is to have no choice but still to work even during our down times
yet i can choose not to
but if i have too much self-declared off days,
my pocket suffers
simple fact.
this week is the first official week that i start work
& i am so far pleased with myself
except that i did not achieve enough appointments
with the initial 10
to the final 4
thats the way of life.
filled with postponements & rejections
but i still can take it well
at least i have my forms filled
i have my money coming in
i so wanna catch a movie
but to no avail
i guess the people that i want to catch a movie with,
are either not interested in the movies i proposed,
or not interested in catching it with me.
*watever*
my life is sort of getting better now
i presume
as i place my focus on my work
i am losing reliance on a certain someone
this is good
*a pat on the back*
and i hereby break the common misassumption that being an insurance agent,
u will have lesser & lesser friends, eventually NO friends
this is wrong
for i have definitely widened my social circle
no one is not picking up my calls
no one is ignoring me
no one is not wanting to meet me
& no one have asked me to fuck off
=)
Friday, May 9, 2008
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