biz urgency

after 4 months in this business, i finally decided to settle my own policy...

it's time to go AIA surrender my life policy which cost nearing 200 a month with pathetic coverage..

it i dun do it today, i gotta give my GMR a treat -_-'

arranged crab bee hoon session with yun laterzz...
hope no harps@!

Life is like a boat -- Rie Fu

Nobody knows who I really am

I never felt this empty before

And if I ever need someone to come along,

Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong?

We are all rowing the boat of fate

The waves keep on coming and we can’t escape

But if we ever get lost on our way

The waves would guide you through another day

tookude iki wo shiteru toomei ni natta mitai

kurayami ni omoe dakedo mekaku shisareteta dake

inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu

asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am

Maybe they just don’t give a damn

But if I ever need someone to come along

I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

hito no kokoro wa utsuriyuku mukedashiteku naru

tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face

The oceans heave up to my heart

You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon

I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore

When will I see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am

I never thought I’d feel this way towards you

And if you ever need someone to come along,

I will follow you, and keep you strong

tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayakana hi mo

tsuki wa mada atarashii shuuki de mune wo terashidasu

inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu

asayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face

The oceans heave up to my heart

You make me wanna strain at the oars, and soon

I can see the shore

unmei no hune wo ko gi nami wa tsugi kara tsugi e to watashi-tachi wo shou kedo sore mo suteki na tabi ne, dore mo suteki na tabi ne

revelation

I went to zouk again.. with Kenny



where i saw Judith, on the eve of Valentine's Day..

before that was out with Lingoo.. to acid bar.. den met the moody soulmate..



probably i just felt empty.



reached home only @ 5 am...



Valentine's Day proper was even more crap

- my mom assume i will stay @ home since this yr i got no BF

- my awaited potential date got cancelled

- suffer from the lack of sleep



MOODY~



so i met Sihui , who offered to be my back-up date.. at kovan HK cafe~ chat all the way till past midnight...



Friday met the JC girls for dinner @ Chomp Chomp..

its been so many years... everytime we talk back about JC days theres still so much laughs..



Xiaoyun got Jianming now.. and probably this year is R.O.M-ing...

Adeline got her stable r/s also .. with various rumors of ROM too!!

Sihui is going to pursue her degree in Aussie~



Me? Just being my day-to-day insurance agent while awaiting graduation ... and leading this super complicated love life.. or rather social life



after the dinner ... we slacked @ ICE 3 ...

xiaoyun had to go home early so we sent her back before going on to my house for gossiping..



i never felt really close to my jc friends during jc times but yet it is this period where i started to sense their concern and small actions that touched the heart..

so long nv really blogged ..

to the reply to the comment for my last entry...
yea.. the song makes me think..
and perhaps i really dunno who i am or what i want..

many ppl think its wrong..
many ppl say i should stop
this mutual benefit relationship thing

xiaoyun says she understand & she rather i have 1 than many
is that right?

the mutual benefit is getting more clear
it's sharing of similar interest, similar hobbies, similar thinkings
it's assisting each other in career goals
but it's also greatly in the financial stand

we call it -sponged-

he is willing to be sponged & guide & be nice in a way
in turn i run errands

its coming march..
coming 3 months..
but i still do not know how to let go successfully

P.S. let me meet *the one*

CNY updates~

this CNY have been a rather busy one....


On the eve of CNY, after the reunion dinner... went to Kenny's house to play mj with him, Ken & Bee,


result => Winnings ++$28


1st day of CNY, bai nian time!!

with my only set of new year clothes this year from MU...

all ready =)

the typical scene during new year involves boring people who aren't exactly so close to one another, gathering to get angpows, thankfully there's the best invention called the television, which allows the boring souls to focus their attention on during silent moments and not needing to squeeze their brain cells to come up with topics to chat with one another..

Niece Shunling & Me


Niece ZhenQi & Me

After all the bai nian-ing, end up another MJ session with Kenny & his 2 frens @ his house

result => Winnings ++ $26

CNY Day 2

More Bai-nian @ my biggest auntie house @ clementi ... after 2 straight nights of MJ session, finally can't take it.. went home to sleep after that... was supposed to meet up Sihui to watch <27> but ended up full house seating so postponed to the next day ...

Went to meet up with soulmate @ tiong bahru plaza to have a drink first before going to PS to meet Kenny for Kung Fu Dunk followed by Ah Long Pte Ltd..

CNY Day 3

Woke up @ 11.45am to realised i'm late to meet Sihui for movie @ 12.40pm... rushed like hell and rush all the way to The Cathay for <27>

Hang out all the way around city hall area with some scouting around for her dream camera Canon 40D, afterwhich met soulmate for a drink before heading down to dbl O for the night..

Met soulmate's cousin & friends, before seeing Kelvin, Bee, her friends.. Kenny also joined in later part and @ 3 am.. headed over to dragonfly... reaching home only at 7 am...

CNY Day 4

Woke up at 3 pm , ate den slept till 6 pm... slack around at home pretty much before heading down to Kenny's house for yet another MJ session with him, his brother & their friend..

result=> Winnings -$9

Home @ 4am to prepare for work tomorrow..

CNY Day 5

1st day back in office.. met up with soulmate for breakfast @ eunos before going to kickoff which was postponed to the afternoon.. so we spend our morning just slacking around office, settling stuff..

Din had anything to do.. so arranged to meet up with lingoo @ Sing Post for tuang-ing before heading back to office for gambling session...

result => Winnings ~+$15

Stayed in office till night where we then adjourned to terence's house for MJ.. first half round played there, afterwhich too many ppl hand itchy so we shifted the table to linus's house to combine open 2 tables and carried on ...

result => Winnings -$4

ended around 5+ am.. afterwhich soulmate & me went for Mac breakfast before heading home..

CNY Day 6

Finally a day of proper rest & relax.. today was just pure sleeping and more sleeping and resting and tv..

Got MJ kakis again but ended up rejecting the offer.. should be a right choice bahz.. As V-Day draws nearer ... i'm becoming moody again..

I told XiaoYun today that i think im more & more not suitable to get into a proper relationship.. seeing my friends getting stable and even going towards marriage.. i look back and see myself still indulging and still enjoying life, not willing to settle down, as i see more & more guys straying and feeling less faith in having relationships

In my life now, there is only but one guy who is in my opinion very marriable, though boring, though mundane

Someone whom i know V-day would mean nothing to him, birthdays would seem like a normal day as well, romance is not an important thing also.. but someone you know you can entrust yourself to..

We are seeing lesser & lesser of each other, yet each msn conversation seems much more comfortable.. i said i give up, i said i knew we cant be together, yet every once in a while, i will check back and be relieved that he is still single..

Is this love?

Or is it yet just another passing shower of infactuation?

If it is love, how can i still feel for soulmate? even being jealous for things?

If it is love, how can i still keep consistently wanting to go out and test other people?

Prosperous Rat Year

The Year of the Rat is coming in less than 1.5 hours away..

It's a nice time of the year when ppl start sms-ing well wishes.. Thanks!

Today shan & lingoo asked if i'm okay ~
as though they got telepathy like that...

but yes, i am ok.. besides its the new year~!!

Yesterday was hectic...
went to school for prof comm...

went to attend someone's blissful moment @ R.O.M wth soulmate...
went to terence house to volunteer painting services~

and soulmate was nice enough to actually sortof volunteered to go with me though he only could stay for an hour or so ...

*nice*

first time i helped out in painting~ although i only did the gates...
at home, my mom dun allow~ sianzz

and after the tiring paint session..
my dear manager rewarded us with a sumptuous "zhi cha" meal ~
with *crab*

*slurps*

i still had new year clothes this year with my budget & my mom last minute generous sponsoring :)

thanks mom!!

tomorrow is bai nian day~~ will try to take some pics.. been some time since i took pictures~
time to make my blog more cheery~

*smilez*

s.m.i.l.e

my life is really full of commas, separating each phase from the other periodically ...

i'm feeling much better now as compared to yesterday's entry

i'm a very soft & gullible person

and it takes just that little bit of effort just to soften me up.


through the months.. i have also slowly realised that you are not the only person who is unhappy

when you are unhappy and hope the whole world notices it, that someone whom u need the concern may be also in an unequally or worst mood.


yesterday wasnt exactly a good night
with soulmate telling me his problem
and me feeling wrenched

i did not know what time or when i fell asleep
i woke up this morning at 7 plus by an msn nudge from soulmate..

with abit of a sore feeling, i decided i am not going to kickoff
and left soulmate to go himself

yet when i woke up at 2 pm , i realised from an sms that he too did not appear..
due to his screwed up plan, i felt a little... better

went hmv to shop for CNY clothes
- bought a top & a skirt from MU

den met soulmate to buy his clothes
den went to get a haircut together at kimage PS


den was group meeting...
where after that i really felt much much better and much less emotional

now i'm a happy elvina~

e.m.o elvina

i am a very weird person.

once i start to be emotional, it doesnt stop that easily

now is the case.


ever since the incident on wednesday night,

i was emo on thursday for the whole day

- i dunwan to work
- i dunwan to talk
- i dunwan to eat much

- i wan to drink
- i wan to wallow
- i wan to cry

thursday night was with soulmate.. all the way till friday night

still emo

- still dunwan to work
- still dunwan to talk much
- still dunwan to eat much

- still very much wan to drink
- still wan to get sympathy
- still cried

den my soulmate was in foul mood too, which makes my mood even more foul
- in the end, he still din come

he called on saturday which was better
- played game at home
- den he go play MJ, MIA till today


i guessed i'm still very much in a lousy mood still
- asked him for movie jus now
- ask what, where, who
- in the end give the answer of not sure
- & i got pissed
- den he got pissed

this few days were really bad
i dunno what am i becoming
it's as though i have no one to talk to
it's as though i am bothering my soulmate
it's as though its always i being by his side when he needs someone but not for me
maybe i should have someone more problem-free to care for me

i really dun feel appreciated at this point of time

those were the days

Had a post-"DW birthday" gathering on friday night, organised by yours truly..

Scheduled for 7pm, weiliang & diwei arrived an hour late, i arrived 2 hours late.
Poor Choon Boon~

Dinner @ Ding Tai Fung, which was obviously unfulfilling for the 3 gentlemen who have been in hunger for 1-2 hours ~ haha

Kaihoe came to join us after our dinner

We walked from wisma to selegie for tau huay, where weizhang joined in..

Den was to The Labyrinth, where we sang & drank..

Weiliang & I collaborated i think the most during our NPCC days

With us being the training chair & secretary

With the planning of the NCO camp in Ubin

With the 1/4, 2/4 days

With the occasional study sessions with him, weiming & siahjen for O's

he really have not changed much

in terms of appearance

honest but 'boring' guy i always say

yet caused me so much troubles from secondary school

dealing with the envy stares from the young girls whom had a crush on him

a guy with little words

patient and tolerant to people

not surprising that he pledged his life to the SAF

Diwei, the one who 'evolved' the most throughout the years

in terms of appearance

always trying to be cranky

to crack very cold jokes

abit 'kaypoh'

but in most cases, very concerned for people

termed by me as the 'late' king

i still remember from those secondary days

when he need 2 hours to style his "armani" hair

the 4 years in NP

we see him from a cute, chubby diwei who is a chao slacker

to become someone who can take on much bigger responsibilities

Choon Boon

a very serious guy when it comes to duties

4 years in the same class from 1/4 to 4/3

also the guy who cant get tanned

gathering with him is always full of laughs

and lame jokes

used to have a nick "Mr White"

and i remembered he liked to wear white top & pants

brainy & hardworking

making it now @ SCE

Weizhang is the one with the biggest network

once nicked as "micky mouse"

now tall & lanky

witty and quick-minded

he has sinced paved his way to success

generous and helpful

yet busy and very hard to contact

had the chance to go on National Camp together

where we met many other friends from schools all over the island

his networking skills are really much to be learned

a true blue PR guy

I din managed to snap a photo with Kaihoe, wasnt close to him at all during the secondary days, yet it's through weizhang that we know each other better. Also a sentimental guy, helpful and reliable.

And a photo taken by Kaihoe's phone,

These are the guys that i spent my NPCC days with, every saturday, week after week for 4 consecutive years. From 13 to 23.. 10 solid years of friendship, not to be undermined. On the parade square, in the fields, in the NP room, in the class rooms, in Pulau Ubin, all unforgettable. We looked back, and realised how time has gone by and how wonderful secondary school days were. Moments like these are really worth to be captured and retained in our memory forever.

those were the days my friend

we thought it'll never end

we sing and dance

forever and away

we live the life we choose

we fight and never lose

'cause we were young

and sure to find our way

(la la la la lala lala la la lala..)