i finally broke down

i cried

my heart feels wrench

i hate misunderstandings



here comes the bad withdrawal symptons

slappable day

today is a super shag yet unhappy day

1) woke up damn early
2) rushed to school
3) did almost a day of surveys and prospecting
4) liased with people for my manager
5) rushed to print bips for closing yet computer cork up
6) off to hall 2
7) to serangoon
8) client cancel appt
9) all time dragged and no time to catch soulmate or anyone
10) so tired & broke, got mom to fetch to eat
11) den came mis-comm with surveyor problem

feeling kindof upset now
especially when you know that its an ignorant mistake
or maybe its not a mistake at all

some things are hard to clear up
i guess its really hard to be a good person
maybe i am too sensitive
but in a way it really hurts me to a certain extent

the way i proposed to solve it
some may think i am stupid
i pay
but i am willing to give the product to others
just case i feel that maybe i am wrong
and i should compensate

i have no one to discuss to now
except my soulmate
who is somewhere in the west
who's handphone is low batt now

--lost--

relieved confusion

childhood was precious

teenage i'm always envious

adulthood is vicious

as we grow up

we lose our innocence

exchanged it for reality

and really harsh ones

we devote almost 2 decades to education

or rather forced into this situation

with which we obtained theoretical knowledge

without knowing the cruelty of society

many have worked

many have cried

many could not handle

be it stress, scoldings or politics

i used to be such a crybaby

since the early sec sch days

when i felt the world should be ideal

everyone should be nice

of course

i was wrong

things really changed during NTU

i got my name

Elvina

i got stronger

i cried lesser as i faced more difficulties in life

i grew brave

as i stand up to more unjust

i got practical

as i see the harsh facts of life

i see relationships

varsely different from how many would forsee

it's the practicality sense as well

by now many know

i have a soulmate

i dun love my soulmate

but he is important to me in a way

a good listener

advisor

nice friend

wonderful companion

and probably

yes,i did made sacrifices for him

and i do get upset at times

but its just my nature

to be nice to people

i know my 2008 resolution

was to get a proper relationship

in a way

might mean not having soulmate

but i do appreciate him

work is No. 1

gf is No. 2

i might not be top

but at least i'm somewhere 3rd

at least i do get my treats

my gift

and my reimbursements

i do get the times during weekdays

and i do get the calls after the No. 2

because i dun love him

i dun need to have him

thats y i am contented

to have this kind of small concern

with these

i felt almost like

i might not need to find that special someone so urgently

Be mean, be evil, be successful

What an unproductive week yet again ...

Was supposed to catch up over dinner with Allan on monday...
but end up he had to OT den cancelled..
couldnt find anyone to go out with last minute..

and i ended up running errand for soulmate..
from eunos to tanjong pagar to plaza sing to boon lay to khatib den back home..

环岛追追追

i think im a nice person, friend and soulmate.

My upper braces are finally up!
lower one have to wait around 6 months...
and up till now im still pretty alright with the extra metal brackets in my mouth !!
though i cant chew for goodness..
eating that 5 sticks of satay last night was horrendous..
but i will survive!!

Yesterday, for the first time since school officially started on the 7th of Jan..
i was back at NTU!

first to settle my unsettled modules...
I concluded EEE undergrad office ppl really not friendly at all.. with a face that u owe them 1 million or sth ...

+sucks+

on the other hand... NBS undergrad office rawks!
i was there to look for mel and also to enquiry about some elective modules..
this lady from the office.. Patricia ..
she is SO helpful.. give me all the advice and direct me the persons to contact and so on...

NTU is a nice place afterall =)

Anyway .. i finally caught up with mel after SO long and she's finally back from milan for this short break ..
from school .. we went on to wheellock apple centre and settling down at shaw's mac to chill..
its such a nice thing to catch up after so long and im so glad she's doing real well over there..
i missed a great chance to ever go on an exchange..
but i will cherish the chance to meet ever more new ppl around..

tonight we'll be going to Attica!
with tong and mich ...
and den off to zouk~

it's my last chance to catch this babe before im off to JB for 4 days tmr morning..
and she's flying off again on saturday..
argh~

yesterday both soulmate and i got mood swing.
stressed over the challenge.. stressed over lifestyle..
seriously i wun need him to be around tonite..
just dun like the empty promise feeling.
for the 4th time.

and i ended off the conversation with this

jus know that whenever u neededme as a soulmate
i was there

come to think of it.. i haven pack my stuff for JB..
totally no idea what to bring and wat to wear..
damn
i got 5 more hours to nua at home before i go for my appt at international plaza and den attica..

resolution for the day:
eat, drink & party~

GE 100 year Centenniel Celebration

Thursday was the GE 100 celebration @ Singapore Expo.

Here are some photos with the friends @ GE =)

Gery & Alvin

Joyce, Alvin, Jordan, Me, Ting Teck, (i-dunno-who) (L-R)

Joyce, Alvin, Jordan, me, Ting Teck

Jordan & Me

Joyce, Alvin, Me

Ting Teck , Me

Lastly...

Simon & Me

Today, my msn nick changed to "missing.someone"

Its true i really do not know what i want when it comes to relationships.

Consecutively for 3 person, I know its not what i really want, but i still sink into it.

This is what i call "trying too hard".

My New Year resolution with ling & shan was to get a proper r/s

but till date i still can't pull out of it.

time and again,

i find the ideal guy i want but to no avil

time and again,

i end up getting involved with the most wrong choice

maybe you r right,

the soulmate was to numb myself from him

Bon Voyage i did not get to say,

though its just for one week and a half.

the possibility of getting even the smallest present spurs me,

yet the chances are lower than what i can possibly think of

for work and for tour you said,

the last time was korea,

this time,

Japan & China

it's hot over there now

i still cant change the fact that i like to play

but i did become more accepting and tolerating

all these,

i learnt from my soulmate

it's ridiculous how i can stop contact for so long

even more so that im getting emotional now

do i really like u

or is it just another diversion of attention

this time,

away from my soulmate

maybe i need a counsellor,

someone to analyse

and tell me who i really am

what i really want

whom i really need

where i really stand

why i behave in this manner

Reflections

This is my first post in the new year of 2008

The last event in 2007 thats memorable would be the impromptu sentosa outing with lingOO.. scheduled just the night before..

On the beach train

On the beach with our wide selection of munchies



A Self portrait

Secret Recipe @ VivoCity
Very Chocolatey cake set @ very reasonable price



Best Companion of the day =)



With the girls on the 1st day of 2008

___________________________________________________________________

Year after year time passes and we get older

Unmeaningful resolutions were set each year on the first day

to be forgotten by the first month

The year ends with regrets and with new resolutions

which results in more regret by the end of the new year..

The year of 2007 was an eventful one filled with many changes..

I never bothered to really looked at what happened in the last year, however, as I sit down and do that, I realised that it has been a year where i changed alot.

I started the year of 2007 deciding where to go for my Internship, applying and eventually getting it @ iDA.

I started the year also pondering about the kind of FYP i wanted to do, which until today is still stuck.

I started the year not knowing what I actually wanted.

February sees the CNY coming.

The only thing i remembered was the typical gathering of relatives, collection of angpows and for last year, the visiting of my bf (or rather ex-bf) relatives, not forgetting MJ.

February also sees Valentine's Day and sad to say, I have totally no impression whatsoever

Basically the first 5 months of 2007. I knew nothing of what I was doing.

May came, when life as an intern started.

I made some really nice friends over @ iDA, whom till today i am still contacting and i feel grateful about that.

Wanxuan , Huiping, Noog, Weikang and of course Jeremy..

the ppl whom i will stay in contact with..

then came August where there was the Shanghai trip with Sihui..

interesting and fun, where i know ppl like serene & wivinia..

September marks my birthday month... where i decided to hold a celebrate to make up for the not-so-happy 21st birthday i had in the previous year...

It was good, with ppl i want to be there being there..

September also sees me taking up a new path in my career choice..

On the 14th of Sep i attended the GE recruitment talk.

On the 28th of Sep i made another strong decision by having my first braces appointment at NDC.

October marks the month when i was contracted as a planner and getting to know the ppl within the team and starting the job proper.

November comes the various courses that I had to attend, the ending of the semester, the starting of exams, the various closings and the money that will come in.

It was all about work, so much so that I neglected my studies.

November came my soulmate as well.

December was the month of reflection, not forgetting the work and trying to get back on the studies path. I also made the decision to obtain the vocational license that i procrastinate on for a very long time.

Ended off with Christmas, Review meetings, Post christmas dinner and the New Years' Eve.

Welcome 2008~

Current AIM

- 22k annual income to hit South Africa 2009

- 1k income in Jan to hit my challenge for Equinox

- Save for a possible Aus trip in May

- Stop spending money wastefully