life is not SO great after all

there are just too many things unspeakable



i have friends

whom i really like.

whom i really trust.

whom i really hate.

whom i really hurt.

whom i really want.



whom might not be anywhere near me.



i have a life

which is really busy.

which is really complicated.

which is really unspeakable to many.


i have a soul mate.
now 2 ppl in my social circle knows it.
they may not approve of the idea but nonetheless i have 1

i told my soulmate last night this:

everyday before i go out, i look into the mirror and give myself a wide smile and i feel good
but the moment i turn away
my heart sinks into emptiness straightaway

i no longer knows who i am anymore
as we grow up and change ourselves to suit the surroundings and people around us
we mask ourselves again and again

i dunno what i need anymore
is it just someone, like anyone?
that's very bad
very bad

the only thing i can do now is to devote myself to something
maybe work
maybe FYP
thou shall try not to irritate my soulmate so much too